I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
