i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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