You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
