Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How naked do you want me to be?
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