You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
