The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
