Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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