After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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