Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
