Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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