quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
