Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
