apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
