Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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