I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
