Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
