Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
