I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
