Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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