im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
