i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
