I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
