so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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