This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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