SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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