I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
