the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
