isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
