Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Nobody cheats on THIS.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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