I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize