It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
