I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
