the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
