Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
where are my eyebrows?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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