So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
This gyro tastes like lonliness
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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