Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
