So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
