I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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