forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
