I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
