I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
