i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
