drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Houston, we have a squirter
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
