it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
