just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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