we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
