On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
well you can't waste a boner
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
