Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
