Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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