He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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