i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
