And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
