There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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